How to Handle an Aggressive Partner


A lifetime experience of physical abuse, rape, or stalking by an intimate partner is reported by nearly 33% of women and 25% of men in the United States. A close partner, such as an ex-spouse, spouse, common-law partner, or boyfriend/girlfriend, was also involved in about 74% of all murder-suicides. Ninety-six percent of these were women killed by intimate partners.

Among married and cohabiting couples in the United States, verbal and physical abuse by an aggressive partner is a common issue. Physical (e.g., grabbing, shoving) and verbal (e.g., insulting) behaviors has been associated with a number of physical (chronic pain and sexually transmitted infections among others), and mental health problems (such as anxiety, and depressive symptoms, substance abuse and dependence). As a result, it’s critical to address partner aggression before it causes lasting damage.

Here are some suggestions that can help people experiencing partner aggression in an effective manner:

Handle the Situation Calmly

When someone is yelling at you for no reason, it can be difficult to remain calm, but your own reaction usually makes the situation worse. Choosing to remain calm and refrain from responding angrily is a smart choice. The majority of the time, if the other partner maintains their composure, the aggressive partner’s anger dissipates. And now is the time to talk about the issue and possibly find a solution, which might also entail getting anger management counseling.

Avoid Conflict

If your partner has an aggressive nature, you might feel like punching him or her in the face. However, it’s always preferable to avoid any conflict and disengage. It is wise to refrain and try to defuse the heightened emotions rather than giving your angry partner another reason or justification to attack.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) claim that encouraging respectful, healthy, and nonviolent relationships can help manage the occurrence of intimate partner violence (IPV) and that communities can aid in lowering the incidence of IPV. Additionally, it can stop the negative and enduring effects of intimate partner aggression on people, families, and communities.

Look for the Cause of Aggression

While remaining composed and avoiding involvement might provide a temporary fix, it’s crucial to find a long-term fix. An underlying medical or emotional issue could be the cause of the anger or aggression. To promote compassion, understanding, and effective listening, try to first establish a compassionate environment between you and your partner. When your partner is relaxed and content, speak with them. And instead of criticizing or placing the blame for the behavior on the other person, try to come up with a solution.

Establish a cordial atmosphere before expressing your opinions, stating your boundaries, and outlining your core values. Additionally, allow them to continue doing that. It will not only cultivate a respectful environment, but will also be helpful in finding the root cause of anger

Seek Help

You can persuade your partner to seek medical attention after you’ve gained their trust. The partner could be under stress or have issues controlling their anger.

The most frequently suggested treatment options for both anger and aggression are cognitive behavioral therapies, according to research studies.

“Anger treatments have consistently demonstrated at least moderate effectiveness among both non-clinical and psychiatric populations”, study suggests.

If you or a loved one is battling anger management issues, get in touch with Medical Concierge Recovery. Call our 24/7 helpline 877-636-0042 and discuss the problem with our admission counselors for information on mental health treatment centers. For more information on residential treatment centers with the best inpatient mental health services, you can also chat online with one of our representatives.

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