Sex In The City 2 Movie And Parent Guilt
Live in the Moment to Alleviate Parent Guilt
Two of the characters are carrying parent guilt in the new Sex In the City 2 movie. Miranda (Cynthia Nixon), and Charlotte (Kristin Davis), represent the average parents today agonizing over their parental duties conflicting with work, and those parents trying to raise difficult children.
More women are working outside of the home now than ever and they are feeling split between the jobs they need, and missing their children’s plays, games, and growth moments.
Miranda is like many women who only feels fulfilled having a career, in addition to being a parent. This is what makes her happy and feeling that she is a whole and complete.
Charlotte finds relief from the stresses and pressures of mother-hood through her Nanny, but she also feels guilty.
Real Guilt and False Guilt
It’s important that if you are a parent to know the difference between real guilt and false guilt.
Real guilt is when you do something intentionally to hurt a child. False guilt is when you are doing your best, but may fall short like the average parent.
If you have done what you could to be a good parent, but find your child is upset with you over a mistake you made, or you wished you could have done better in a situation even though you tried your best, then that’s false guilt.
When you are engaged in false guilt, know this is the ego-mind which always keeps you in turmoil. It’s the nagging voice that haunts you with, “I should have,” and “I could have”.
False guilt is a waste of time. It’s also living in the past, or in the future, and not living in the moment.
For example, when you are thinking about your child’s award ceremony you missed. That’s the past. If you are feeling guilty about an upcoming event that you will miss, that’s living in the future. Either way, you are causing yourself unnecessary stress. You have enough parental pressures just trying to get through the day performing daily child-rearing duties while trying to provide for your child, so let false guilt go.
Live in the Moment
The best thing you can do for you and your child, is to live in the moment. Enjoy each moment fully that you have with your child. He or she will feel that they are important in your life, and that you value them.
Being present at events and games doesn’t mean you are emotionally involved. There are parents who work inside of the home, and attend every function, but their child still feels emotionally abandoned, perhaps because mom is constantly on the phone, texting, or simply constantly day-dreaming.
Deep listening giving all of your attention to your child, is one of the highest forms of love. Even if you don’t have hours to spend, the time you do have, make the best of it by tuning in to what your child is saying by listening with not only your ears, but with your heart.
Try not to multi-task while listening, even though as parents that seems the only way to get things done these days.Quality time is being in the moment with your child even in the short periods you do have.
Child-rearing days seem like forever when you are living them, but in reality, they are only a blip in time. Your child chases after you while they’re small wanting your full attention, but when they are in their teen years and beyond, you’ll find yourself chasing after them wanting their time too.
So drop false guilt. Live in the moment with your child. Remember the present is a gift, and it’s the greatest gift you can give your child and yourself.