Two Girls in My Bed – Not Exactly a Fantasy

I woke up the other morning around 4 AM and there was this beautiful young girl in our bed between me and my wife. She was bright-eyed and

I woke up the other morning around 4 AM and there was this beautiful young girl in our bed between me and my wife. She was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and she smiled when I opened my eyes and she said … “Hi daddy!” Hmmm …

“What are you doin’ in my swamp?” I asked her in my best Shrek impersonation. This, as always, produced a smile.

“Sleeping,” she said.

“You don’t look like you’re sleeping to me,” said I.

Mommy, who was now awake, decided to try and return her to her own bedroom and that seemed to work, but I never got back to sleep. So, I tossed and turned for about an hour and finally relented at about 5 AM and got up. I crank started the dial-up connection and went to the kitchen to start a cup of coffee. In my mind, I was imagining the two tasks competing in a head to head race to see which would get accomplished first: the finished product of a cup of coffee or finally getting online through the archaic dialup and low KBs connection. To my astonishment, the computer won hands down. Adding the necessary ingredients into my coffee, I made my way towards the office, set the coffee on the desk, positioned the chair to a comfortable setting, and placed my hands on the keyboard. Ah yes, I can write.

Had I just heard something? A door creaking, maybe? I turned my back to see a fleeting glimpse from the corner of my eye speedily making its way towards our bedroom where I hoped my wife had not suffered the same fate as I had that morning trying to get back to sleep.

“Hey!” I hollered out. The figure’s pitter-pattering feeties stopped dead in their tracks, turned 180 degrees and bee-lined for the office.

“I can’t sleep,” she said.

“Join the club,” I said. She tried in vain to tell me she was scared, but I could tell otherwise with her gorgeous, but lying eyes. She’s not a very accomplished fibber yet.

“Why not lay in your bed with the door open for a while and I’ll protect you since you’re right next door to the office,” I offered.

“Okay,” she said excitedly. Too excitedly for me to think this was going to have any semblance of endurance. Sure enough … a few moments later, she emerged back into the office to tell daddy a really cool story. Of course it was gibberish and she was making it up as she went along. Gotta love her 5 year old imagination. I have no idea where she gets it.

Now, if I was Mommy, I’d be making her get back into bed and saying … you need your sleep because I do not want you to be a cranky girl at Nanny’s today and high maintenance when you finally get home tonight. This would produce wailing and crying in protest, and that she was scared and that she wasn’t tired. But I’m not Mommy. And I didn’t want to hear either wailing or crying at this time of day. I simply do not have the fortitude my wife inhibits when it comes to such matters.

“Look Daddy!” she exclaimed referring to the predawn light coming through the edges of the mini-blinds, “it’s already morning time!”

“Uhuh,” I said, “but it’s still early honey and I want your mommy to be able to sleep.”

“Can I stay up?” she asked knowing I would let her. How does she do that?

“If you stay in your room and occupy yourself without waking up your Mommy.” Off she went happily and I didn’t really think Mommy was going to get back to sleep in all honesty. She has an uncanny ability to lay there for hours trying, though. And, I used to get up early when I was young. And look at me … I turned out just … fine? … Hmmm … wait a minute!

“Jadyn! Go back to bed!”

“Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!” Now … even the dog was wide awake. I clicked the red X on the upper right hand corner of the monitor screen and called it a day on the Internet.

This very morning, while I write … I have gone through the exact same routine as the other day, sans waking up to my wide awake daughter between my wife and me. I got a little further along in the routine this morning. I was already getting my stats on the preseason football games and the final roster cuts when I heard …

“Mommy!” Oy vay! 6:15 AM is what the clock displayed. Wow … she’s sleeping in, I thought to myself sarcastically. “MOMMY!” She hollered even louder with more enthusiasm while I was deep in thought. One would think I’d be intercepting the hollers before they produced a wide-awake Mommy.

I went to her bedroom and opened the door. “What’s the matter, Honey?” I asked.

“I want my nut.”

“Excuse me?”

“You know, Daddy,” she said with a degree of contempt and a dash of sarcasm. It’s a little early for that, wouldn’t you think?

“Um … NO! I don’t know.”

“The peanut.” I’m still clueless. “I think it’s up on the shelf with my ballerina puppet.” I moved the puppets and saw no peanut. “It’s the one I got out in the woods, Daddy!” Obviously, she finally realized her father still had no idea what he was looking for. “The squirrel nut! Hello!” Yeah, full blown sarcasm. I hate to admit she gets that from me.

Now I finally understood what she was looking for. She had found an acorn in the woods one time while she was hiking with her preschool class. I have not, in all honesty, seen this crazy acorn in several months and why I’m looking for this damn nut at 6:15 this morning when I could be writing a blog entry is quite beyond my realm of reasoning.

“There’s no acorn up here, Jadyn,” I said.

“Oh … okay. I thought it was.” Uhuh … sure you did. Conniving little … Man, I love her though.

As I tried to exit her bedroom and shut the door, I got the “I gotta go potty” routine, so I just knew she wasn’t going back to bed. I used to get up early when I was a kid. And look at me. I turned out just fine. Hmmm … wait a minute. Nope. I don’t want her wailing this morning. I just got an idea for a blog entry. How about petty bribery?


“Yes, Daddy?”

“How about I put a cartoon on for you and you stay real quiet and not wake up Mommy.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah!” she practically screamed. So much for keeping the house quiet, I thought as the dog emerged from the bedroom.

Anyway … Mommy’s still in bed (wide awake, I’m sure) and my daughter is laying on the sofa watching her TiVo’d television show. And that gave me this opportunity to write this. Thank goodness!

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